Are you a mom?

I’m in the incredibly lucky situation that my husband likes buying me jewellery. So on the last day of our trip we went to a store he had found to look at some items. The shop assistant, who had been helping me try on a few things and was probably looking for a reason for us to buy something (not necessary – if we like it and we think we can afford it, yes, otherwise no) asked, with the upcoming Mother’s Day in mind,

“Are you a mom?”

I probably frowned. “It’s difficult.” Deep breath. “We had twins last year, but they were stillborn.” Another deep breath. She looked really sorry for us and may have said something along those lines. “Now we’re expecting another baby, and hope this one will make it.” She smiled and said she was sure this baby would be fine. (Many people have said that. I so wish I could fully believe them.)

I looked at a few more things. The assistant later told us that her sister-in-law also lost her first two babies, but that the third made it. She was really sweet and gave me a hug later and said she’d be praying for us.

I so wish I could believe all those people that think Strawberry Baby will be fine. And I so wish this question wasn’t so difficult for far too many of us.


  • the doctor recommending to get up every hour during the flight: Turbulences. They weren’t really bad*, but we didn’t get to go walk around as much (and it was too bumpy for sleeping, too). Oh well. I’m here and I think all my legs and babies are fine.
  • me: This pregnancy thing is physical work. I’m not quite as tired as in the first trimester, but still have less energy than pre-pregnancy. And I get exhausted much more quickly. Of course I cannot say how much of that is due to the twins (no singleton pregnancy experience to compare to), but I have to admit that this is something I didn’t expect at all.
  • family communication: My dad brought out some wine with dinner** and said that if one was pregnant, one could have it with lots of fizzy water. His wife “Oh, so CC is really pregnant?”
    For a moment I was speechless.
    My brothers were very entertained at the story though.

* Years ago I was on a plane over the Himalayas, in a lightning storm. The whole plane was quiet. At some point came a brief call from a distressed captain, “Cabin crew, take your seats. Cabin crew, take your seats.” Obviously, we made it out ok. Since then, as long as the crew is walking around, I’m not too worried.

** My home country isn’t as serious about this alcohol/pregnancy thing, or at least it wasn’t when my mom was pregnant.