clarified (somewhat)

At our follow-up appointment, my doc had found out that the “unclear” parts of the MRI were so because of all the scar tissue / adhesions I have from my previous surgery. Which means that they cannot see much in this area. The overall conclusion remains, no big bloody masses or anything to be seen, which is good. Whether there are small amounts of endometriosis or not they cannot really say, as far as I understand. Nor where my pain comes from — my doctor thinks it could be from the adhesions, but what I find weird is that it mainly occurs during my period, and to a lesser extent until ovulation — to me this screams estrogen-dependent. Anyone with adhesions, or other “weird pain”, has had this experience?

She had also finally received the SA results from last year — oddly enough, on that report morphology wasn’t even mentioned (where I’m from, you don’t actually get any records unless you, or better another doctor, specifically asks for them). So now I don’t know whether they tested for it at all, and hence whether the new results are worse or just “another factor we didn’t know about”. Not that this would help, I guess… H, although very skeptical about anything that is not traditional western medicine, has agreed to start trying a supplement for male fertility. Let’s see if that brings us anywhere. It cannot hurt, I suppose.

The best news of the consultation was that the doctor thinks we could be successful with IUI. Of course it is hard to predict anything as nobody knows how my endo (if it is there at all) affects my chances of getting pregnant, but based on his numbers she would suggest us to try 4 rounds of that, and then think about IVF. One of the insurance plans at my next job would cover 50% of IUIs, including the drugs, which would be a start. No IVF coverage, though… sigh. I’m not entirely sure how it would be with my insurance here, and unfortunately the only clinic that works with it was not very impressive (they wrote the wrong diagnosis on the SA, and needed 4 attempts to put the correct name on the invoice).

I think in part I’m still grieving the idea of conceiving naturally, so perhaps it is not the worst thing in the world if we have to wait a bit, until we have moved and settled in our new location. Still, it hurts me that some friends will probably be preparing for the arrival of #2 by the time we even have a chance of conceiving #1 (and we all know that this does not mean we’ll actually have a baby 9 months later). I got though most of this month fairly well, given my IF-unhappiness and the anniversary of my mom’s death in late November, but last Friday I just lost it, and all I could do was cry on the way home. A BFN on Saturday morning didn’t make it any better, but HP7 was at least distracting, and afterwards we went for drinks with friends. In a place that used to be super-nice with great food, but now has new owners and is… less nice. But more expensive. Sigh. This will get better, right?

surprise surgery

Our trouble conceiving wasn’t entirely unexpected — I had surgery for endometriosis a few years ago. I call it “surprise surgery” because, until the day before, I didn’t even know I had endo. Not for lack of symptoms, but my doctor at the time didn’t take them seriously. About two weeks before the surgery, I had searched the web and found out about the endo team at the local (and very good) hospital, so I signed for an appointment, as this sounded awfully like the symptoms I experienced monthly. Alas, that became my post-surgery follow-up.
With rather heavy bleeding at around CD10, I went to the ER, and after some poking around, they told me that they saw lots of endometriotic tissue — and offered me to do surgery the next day, as they would have all necessary experts available. I was kind of scared by all these news — after my search two weeks prior I had at least heard of this diseases, but didn’t know much. Nevertheless I agreed to the surgery, which ended up taking more than 2x longer than they thought, but, most importantly, it was successful. Menopause-inducing drugs* for 6 months, and then “normal” birth control pills, the kind you take every day (progesterone-only based). And — knock on wood — I’ve been fine since. But the hospital recommended us to come back if, once off the pill and after 6 months of trying, we didn’t get pregnant. Well… I don’t know how many patients they have that get this lucky, but we’re not among them. Also, we don’t live there anymore, but went for a visit a couple of months ago when we were in the area. Fortunately they didn’t see any sign of endo. Unfortunately, they did see a number of other potential problems, on both sides.

* I think that would be Lupron here