#MicroblogMondays: and now for something completely different

Emerging from the black hole that is called “house hunting” – not successful yet, but we are narrowing down the choices. I didn’t realize this endeavor would be as all-encompassing as infertility treatments… We’ve had too many Sundays now filled with open houses, which are not too interesting for a toddler (although more often than not there are someone else’s toys in the house, and she loves to explore them).

Completely unrelated: some of my colleagues are running a relay in September, and I’m considering to join. It’s 5k for each team member. I’m not a runner, but SB loves it when I have to run for the train, so I figured I could train with her in the stroller… Any advice on where to start, what to do, what to avoid? I’ll tag Jane, Non Sequitur Chica and Theresa, as I know they are runners, but please all chime in. Our stroller is from Baby Jogger, but not an actual jogger (the City Mini GT). I’m hoping we’ll be fine with just fixing the front wheel, as I’m not planning to buy a jogging stroller (yet ;) I’m also not really in “couch” state as I bike to work and back every day, about 7.5 miles. Still, that doesn’t mean I’m in shape for running (running for the train has me walk rather quickly…)

Bonus unrelated picture:

 

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(breathe out)

Luckily I could get an appointment this week for my scary lump. My doctor listened to my report, did an exam and then an ultrasound. She said she thought it felt like a cyst, which should show up on the screen as a “black hole”. But there wasn’t any. There wasn’t anything irregular to be seen at all. Phew. My doc said it might be something fibroid-y, which she wouldn’t necessarily see on the u/s. She’s not a breast specialist so she gave me a referral, to make sure, but I’m feeling very relieved. (Do I have to tell you that I hardly slept last night?) Hoping, of course, that the specialist — whom I’ll only see in mid-April — won’t find anything worrisome either.

I also told her about my theory of inversions, endometriosis and exercise, and she seemed a bit skeptical, but said that perhaps, a combination of factors could cause this (and I know many women that practice the same sports I do, and feel fine), and that she would ask other patients about their exercise if they came in with similar complaints.

Phew (again).

Inversions

Regular readers will be familiar with my burning buttocks pain. Pain shooting through my spine and burning in my buttocks, during menstruation but lately stretching throughout the entire follicular phase. Which I assumed to be caused by endometriosis, given my history, though an MRI could not find anything. Pain that had me seriously wonder how I was going to lead a normal life with, how I would be able to work, especially standing up.

I’m still slightly afraid of saying anything, for fear of jinxing my luck, but it seems I have found a solution. And I’m not talking about prescription-strength painkillers. This could become a long post, but bear with me.

Over the holidays I re-discovered a book about yoga, which I had bought years ago, with the intention of starting, but then I met H and everything changed ;-) and when we moved here I left it back as I wasn’t actually doing any yoga. But a few months ago I bought “Fully Fertile” and began yoga practice they suggest, and so I looked up some poses. Now, whereas Fully Fertile just recommends not to do inversions during menstruation, this other book, in true spirit of my fellow countrymen, provides a more detailed discussion of the issue, finishing with the statement that endometriosis was a clear counter-indication for practicing inversions during menstruation.

Point taken, I thought. Probably because of retrograde menstruation, a theory of how menstrual flow back into the peritoneal cavity could cause endo. I had heard about it when I was first diagnosed, and basically dismissed it because it could not explain all cases of endo. (For example, the first documented case of a woman with endo happened to occur in a patient without an uterus. No retrograde flow here, clearly.) Anyway, I had stuck with the Fully Fertile instructions, so I thought this was not an issue.

Half an hour later, it hit me. While I had avoided inversions, I had been practicing Ai.ki.do, and all those rolling movements could well have the same effect. If you’re wondering why I practiced despite all this pain — exercise actually helped relieve the pain. My first bout of endo, which was finally diagnosed one day before I had major surgery to remove it, started about 9 months after I began practicing Ai.ki.do. Then I rarely practiced for a long time (for other reasons), was on a progesterone-only pill, and pain-free. But last spring I took it up again — somewhat reluctantly, because, you know, I could get pregnant the following month and then I’d have to stop (I wish). And, over the summer, my lovely burning buttocks pain surfaced.

I had dreaded getting my period during the holidays, in anticipation of yet more pain. But, due to travels and sickness, I had not done any Ai.ki.do. And I was in so much less pain, it was unbelievable. This time around (today is CD3), it is even better. Not quite pain-free yet, but if you had promised me this a few months ago, I would not have believed it. And all that because of less exercise? Even if this does not get me pregnant, I’ll take it, any day.

Maybe I got it all wrong. It could be the EPO finally working, or pure coincidence. But this connection is too strong for me to ignore. Oddly enough, I could not find much on the topic online. I’ve read this article about yoga, which supports that you should not practice inversions during menstruation, but claims that retrograde menstruation, and therefore endometriosis, are not an issue. Frankly, I don’t buy it. My body tells me otherwise. And I think this is the key point here. I have to learn to listen to my body. As a scientist, I would love to have well-designed, controlled, double-blind studies for whatever medical or reproductive problem I worry about. Apart from the fact that these simply often do not exist, they can only tell us what works in the majority of patients (ok, actually in a small set that hopefully is representative…). But, identical twins aside, we are all slightly different. We suffer from different side effects, don’t respond in the same way to drugs, hell, some are drunk after one cocktail and others still standing after 3. With badly understood problems it seems to be even worse, whether that be endo or “bad eggs” or what else doctors may have thrown at you, shrugging, not really knowing what to do either.

(It seems like there should be conclusions here, but that feels premature. We’ll see over the coming months if my pain stays away. I’m hopeful. And that is a wonderful feeling.)

distractions, looking for

Boobs: hurting/sore. Not all the time, but more than usual. Ute: crampy. This is 7dpo though, can this mean anything at all? Other than that I’m obsessing over symptoms, I mean.

So far, having the Big Event distract me from the 2ww doesn’t work. Instead I’m fretting over two issues instead of one.

Yesterday I went to exercise. Which did distract me, as it requires a lot of attention. But, as we’re not talking about something smooth as swimming here, I’m also starting to worry. Truth be told, it’s martial arts (don’t scream) — I’d say the impacts are similar to running, though less frequent (if you can do it really well you have much stronger impacts, but I can’t and have no desire to learn it at the moment). Still… should I take a break? What do you do?

Also, sort of unrelated: do you take progesterone until you test, or do you stop when it’s taken you “far enough” to allow for implantation? As I’m getting sort of hopeful (and scared at the same time…), I don’t want to screw anything by stopping too early. My doc told me 10 days, which is what I’ve done so far. I could check back with her, too…