Despair

Going through the familiar stages of grief over this pregnancy that wasn’t, I reached despair. We had been so lucky – all our past transfers had led to pregnancy. (Spoiled, I know.) The big obstacle had seemed to be bringing the embryos to Europe. Now it’s becoming clear that no step is guaranteed.

We have 4 embryos left, or more specifically, 2 pairs. Even if each thaws nicely, if we give each a 25% chance of leading to pregnancy, there’s still a 25% chance I will try with all four and not get pregnant. Sigh. Somehow that’s considerably worse than I thought. Of course I was counting on 6 and on previous success rates…

For now, I need a break, and am happy that SB and I are leaving for family visits tomorrow. H follows on the 23rd. There will be family drama, and a very pregnant SIL with two little girls already. But hopefully also nice and relaxing moments.

Take care, dear readers, in this often challenging season.

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2 thoughts on “Despair

  1. I agree, still so much hope. I’m sorry this transfer didn’t work, and that the holidays always amplify everything, but I hope you can find some time to relax, and some tasty treats to eat, and some fun to have all the same.

    I try to remember that babies aren’t toys on shelves, so someone else having many doesn’t affect your chances. It doesn’t always help but sometimes eases the sting.

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