Rainbow

On Thursday, I bought this ornament on a whim. I was so hopeful (and I also really like colors, and so does SB). H declared it terrible, but has left it hanging on our tiny tree (we’ll spend Christmas visiting family, as always. I’d love to stay home. Someday. But until then, no big trees.)

I’m sure you’re all familiar with the term “rainbow baby”. But actually it doesn’t make sense to me – rainbows are so transient. Beautiful, yes, but after a few moments they’re gone. That’s a bit how I look at this pregnancy (if it even was one). I felt less sick despite continuing the drugs, my uterus less heavy. Granted, there’s no way to rule out that I’ve imagined all but the side effects. But I really felt pregnant for about a week. And while I’m of course sad about losing this embryo, overall it was a much better experience than my previous international transfer attempts. So I’m hoping that we can get lucky in 2019.