I don’t mean newly in love couples, I can remember that ;) But for those of you that have been together for many years, and have small kids – what does a good evening look like? Because not only do I feel that we’re hardly having any of these, I’m struggling to recall what we’d even do…
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parenting and processing after infertility and babyloss
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parenting and processing after infertility and babyloss
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parenting and processing after infertility and babyloss
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parenting and processing after infertility and babyloss
parenting and processing after infertility and babyloss
parenting and processing after infertility and babyloss
parenting and processing after infertility and babyloss
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parenting and processing after infertility and babyloss
parenting and processing after infertility and babyloss
parenting and processing after infertility and babyloss
parenting and processing after infertility and babyloss
parenting and processing after infertility and babyloss
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parenting and processing after infertility and babyloss
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parenting and processing after infertility and babyloss
parenting and processing after infertility and babyloss
parenting and processing after infertility and babyloss
parenting and processing after infertility and babyloss
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parenting and processing after infertility and babyloss
parenting and processing after infertility and babyloss
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parenting and processing after infertility and babyloss
parenting and processing after infertility and babyloss
parenting and processing after infertility and babyloss
parenting and processing after infertility and babyloss
parenting and processing after infertility and babyloss
Conceptionally challenged 
One of us cooks dinner while the other hangs out with the child. Eat meal together, talk about day. Clean up, same as above. Play together with child if time. Bedtime routine; we share or if one is really tired other takes over. Then we might watch a movie and have a cup of tea if I can stay awake; otherwise I go to bed and Mr Turtle stays up longer playing computer games and watching TV. Nothing exciting, but we recharge from our day anyway. One evening a week one or the other of us leaves house to do an activity (dance, workout) Xo Thinking of you.
We share dinner and kid-wrangling, alternate days on who cleans up the kitchen and who does bath time. Once kiddo is asleep, we might have a glass of wine and watch a show, or make tea and both do another hour of work on the couch. I’m often in bed before Pea, as he S stays up a bit later to play video games. If he comes to bed with me, we read for a bit. It is very low key at our house! And we are still figuring out how to fit workouts in. But every day we reconnect and talk for at least ten minutes about our days and strange things we saw. Usually more like 30-40 min of chatting.
It looks pretty similar here : we share making dinner / cleaning up/ bath time / bedtime one way or another (with me breastfeeding Aimé to sleep). Sometimes one of us goes back out for a meeting or workout. And then we end the night with watching the news / reading / scrolling aimlessly on Facebook ;)
What I wish we’d do more : talk together when Aimé is asleep (beyond planning our schedule!)
We eat dinner together as a family, and do the washing up together as a family too. After the kid is in bed, we sit in the same room with our respect technology and do our own things, feeling free to interrupt the other by IM or by speech to pass on something interesting or amusing. At least one point, one of us will ask “Would you like a cup of tea?” and when the other replies in the affirmative, the first will say “Oh, good, will you make me one too?”
We like to watch a show together, once kids are in bed. Often there isn’t much good on and we end up watching Rick Steves or Rudy Maxa (travel show hosts). Takes us away from our world a bit and helps me feel a bit refined after a day with children. ;) We like to have discussions about things in the news, or our families, etc. We also may make a fire and just sit and have quiet. I am thinking of you as you are going through a difficult time. It happened to us and it was really tough, especially because I didn’t feel I could really open up to anyone about it. I am really, really thankful it is over. The only advice I can really give is to show him respect unconditionally (which can be super hard) even when it doesn’t love unconditionally (even harder). The results are astounding. Love, Kj
Have dinner as a family. Play a little bit with the kids if it is not too late. Sometimes baths, sometimes just putting the kids to bed (one puts I to bed, the other puts W to bed- then we switch the next night). After putting the kids to bed we come back downstairs and do some chores- washing dishes, vacuuming, etc. CP runs on the treadmill some nights. Then we veg watching tv, usually while I am on my phone and he is on his ipad, talking about a show or something else when it suits us. It’s not very exciting I’m afraid.
This is 100% us, too.