Reminders

  • Frowny Girl’s aunt died unexpectedly. And I cannot help but think how she’s also somebody’s child, and that no parent should ever have to bury their child.
  • I opened a presentation I gave about a month after A&C died. It is physically painful to look at. I went back to work after less than 2 weeks because I thought it would help distract me, because I was tired of being home and miserable. Well, then I was at work and miserable.
  • Then I saw a heron in flight, and these beautiful backlit flowers, while walking through an area we used to wander in those first weeks after they were gone.

     

  • It’s been 1.5 years. I remember it like yesterday, and yet, at the same time so much has happened. We’re so grateful to have SB and it is amazing to see her grow, and yet, there is some sadness underneath it all. From the outside it may look like “everything’s just fine” now, but it’s not that simple. Full and fascinating and mostly good, but not simple.
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10 thoughts on “Reminders

  1. grief finds its way through the cracks of joy, and joy finds its way through the cracks of grief. I guess we are meant to experience it all. It’s difficult. It’s wonderful. It sounds very much so for you, right now (difficult and wonderful).
    Sending hugs. And thanks for sharing that beautiful photo.

  2. Of course it’s not simple. But I think knowing that it isn’t (and probably will never be) is what enables you to cope so beautifully. Hugs, mama.

  3. I know just how you feel in raising C after my twins passed. There are lots of conflicting feelings and memories that come back when you least expect them. I am at about 3.5 years into my loss journey and still miss them. It has definitely gotten easier and healing has come a long way. But those moments…always come back around because the love was so strong.

  4. Oh, I can relate so much… we have our precious Jordan, but it doesnt take away from the loss of Conner and Ben. It is so bittersweet. Lots of love to you.

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