it’s more like a wish list

Before reaching 24 weeks, I wasn’t willing to deal with anything birth- or baby-related*. So despite the suggestion of my book or app, writing a birth plan was out of the question – even though I had found out to my own, and particularly to my twins’s disadvantage, that birth can happen before that milestone. But then again, whatever was in the birth plan usually isn’t particularly relevant in such situations.

When I was pregnant with the twins I really wanted to try a vaginal delivery. Not sure why this seemed so important… Well, I did have that. Turns out this wasn’t the important part after all.

Now my top priority is to get Strawberry Baby here alive and well. One might think this doesn’t take a “birth plan”, and perhaps it doesn’t. While many people may be able to plan a pregnancy, birth is another story. After feeling slightly ridiculous for trying to plan something that can’t be planned, I renamed the document “birth wish list”. It starts like this:

Everyone alive.
Preferably healthy.

I did come up with a surprising number of details, like skin-to-skin contact and breastfeeding and our preferences on circumcision in case Strawberry Baby has fooled us all along – but most of these refer to the time after delivery. For labor itself, there’s not much. I haven’t even made up my mind regarding pain relief, as the thought of a needle near my spine scares me. We’ll cross that bridge when we get there, I suppose. In part I’m sure it helps that the hospital staff was wonderful when the twins were born, and as we’re going back to the same ward I’m just hoping to have similarly positive encounters. In part, really, as long as I have a living and breathing and healthy Strawberry Baby in my arms afterwards, I don’t care so much about the details.


*I did collect nursery inspiration on Pinterest, but it was kind of a secret guilty pleasure

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9 thoughts on “it’s more like a wish list

  1. Everyone alive.
    Preferably healthy.

    Sounds like a great birth plan to me! I can’t believe how far along you are. It makes sense somewhere in my hear… you transferred after my IVF and just before my FET, but the majority of my brain feels like you’ve been pregnant for 10 weeks tops! Glad you’re nearing the end and things continue to look good for strawberry baby!

  2. I think your “plan” is spot on. So much of what we are learning in my birth classes is how NOT to get attached to a plan. It sounds like you do have preferences though. Those are important to think about. I did realize eventually that I docare about my birth experience: a lot of my “plan” has to do with the mental frame of mind that I want to be in. So, not so much controlling the externals but going in as positive and happy as possible, with the expectation that it will be a good experience. I wish the same for everyone!

  3. I think that sounds similar to how our birth plan will go. Very vague and flexible, since I’ve yet to read a single one that went the way it was supposed to!

  4. that sounds a lot like my birth plan. I will add to yours, if I may. “Absolutely NO hemorrhage”.
    And is your ticker on the side really showing 35 WEEKS!!!??
    Almost full term! I’m very excited for you.

    1. Yes please. None of that. I do have a line stating to please not do a hysterectomy unless that’s what it takes to save my life. It is an uneasy thought, that one.
      And yeah, 35 weeks! It still amazes me. Yesterday I was 35w along and technically had 35 days to go, which I found particularly amusing :)

  5. I didn’t have a birth plan. I had read so often about how things never went according to plan that I didn’t even bother. Besides that, I was so undecided as to what I wanted to do because I was scared senseless. I wanted a vaginal birth, but was afraid I couldn’t do it. The idea of having a c-section and having my stomach cut open also scared me! An epidural or spinal was what I was most terrified of, so I hear you on being afraid of that needle near your spine! You are spot on. The only thing that matters is that everyone is alive and preferably healthy!

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