this time last year

I haven’t had any possibility to compare to the same stage in my last pregnancy for a while, but, as we were so lucky to get pregnant again so quickly, there still is a temporal overlap. And I remember looking at Labor Day sales last year. There was a cute little hat with stitching like a baseball, it would have been adorable. But somehow I didn’t want to buy anything yet. This still makes me wonder if some part of my subconscious knew.
This year, much further along, I allowed myself a few purchases. Friends have generously asked if we want their baby clothes (“but you’re having a girl, and ours is a boy!” – no problem. We’d love to.) If I can work up the energy I also want to explore garage sales in the area. But it was fun picking out a few things, showing them to H, who mainly rolled his eyes, before actually ordering. We even went to a local store last weekend, to look at strollers and car seats. H was heartbroken whenever he thought about the double stroller we had considered for the twins, but bravely came along. The owners were extremely helpful, so in a few weeks we’ll hopefully go back and buy some basic baby gear. It’s still kind of hard to believe, but getting more real.

4 thoughts on “this time last year

  1. Jon and I did some shopping for Lucy this weekend, too. It’s so hard to enjoy it, knowing that there is still the big fear that something could still happen before she’s born. Pulling the clothes out that we had from Gus was okay, but cutting those tags off and washing the new items…that was a conscious choice by me to not give into my fear.

  2. sigh. I shudder thinking about this time last year. All felt so right. It was right before the HUGE wave was about to hit us out of nowhere. It is cool what 1` year difference can make. I hear you with the memories. Bittersweet-soo soo sad for past, soo soo happy for future. <3

  3. Such a bittersweet moment. I’m sorry that your happy memories are intertwined with sad ones. I hope that you’re able to get through those moments with peace and strength.

  4. It’s hard to even comprehend how our sad memories and moments in the past help shape all the happy ones to come. It is very exciting that you are starting to gear up for Strawberry Baby, but I can definitely understand the hesitation at the same time.

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