Despite growing evidence to the contrary, I still don’t feel big. In some ways I feel amazed to be here, but at the same time over the last few weeks I’ve started to trust my body more again. The pelvic pressure is still around, but fortunately not getting worse. My cervix has been looking great through all this – nobody can quite tell if it’s the singleton or the progesterone, but I’ll happily take it. And I’ve slowly been moving from “if everything goes well…” to “we should probably start buying a few things over the next weeks”. Which is a huge change. Much as I love my milestones, it didn’t come quite with them, but in between, no doubt facilitated by all the good news we’ve been getting throughout this pregnancy. Even before I reached 24 weeks, after my husband brought up again how much he’d love to go home for Christmas, I talked about this with a fellow expat who has two young sons, and said that her trip when their youngest was 2.5 months old worked quite well. And my first thought was not about all the what-ifs, but that – we’d need passports. Shortly afterwards I started to worry about vaccinations, and I’m certainly not going to buy plane tickets before she’s here safe and sound and we have talked to a pediatrician whether this is a good idea at all, but… well, I’m not sure I can accurately describe how much of a big step it is to think that, likely, we will have a living baby with us by the end of this year. And how grateful I am for this.