I have a hard time relating to other pregnant women. Maybe even other people in general – I think they’ll see me and my bump and expect that everything is great, and I don’t always have the energy to fill in the history. But it’s not quite so easy. Of course, I have no idea if things are/were easy for them – sometimes I like to make the “maybe they had a hard time getting here, too” assumption. But that became harder after A & C died. Many more people struggle to get pregnant than those that go through a second trimester loss. Of course there’s other hardship in life, plus neither playing pain olympics nor isolating myself count as really helpful strategies in the long term, even if it may seem the easiest thing to do in a given moment. (Example: a pregnant colleague, whom H overheard complaining how she dislikes being pregnant and can’t wait for her water to break… when she was about 22 weeks along. I just can’t go there. Or my brother’s girlfriend, who must be 6-8 weeks ahead of me, and already has everything for the baby at home and is now off work thanks to more generous, or perhaps reasonable, maternity leave. It’s just literally another continent.)
Nevertheless I’d like to try to meet a few new people. I guess their kids could be playmates for Strawberry Baby down the road, but realistically this may be more about me finding some mom-friends going through the same experience, hopefully – that of bringing a baby home. For those of you that have been there, any recommendations for where to start, other than my mindset? I’ve been thinking about prenatal yoga classes, birth preparation and newborn care classes, but other suggestions welcome. H isn’t interested in going to any of these, while I imagine that both the contact to other expectant moms as well as some activities where birth is a normal aspect, rather than the drama it turned into last time, could be good for me.