It’s been like this for weeks, and I imagine (hope!) it will continue for another few weeks. My feelings oscillate between being happy and amazed and proud for how far we’ve come, and afraid that it still isn’t far enough*. I’ve had moments of gut-wrenching sadness over not being able to carry my precious twin daughters this far. It is a strange and scary and amazing place to be.
I have the same number of days left in the current stage of my meditation program than to that magical number, 24. Fittingly, it is considered the last stage of the foundational program – the real stuff begins after that. 24w will also be on what would have been my mom’s birthday. I hope it’ll bring some light into a day that is often still filled with sad memories for me.
Meanwhile, Strawberry Baby has taken up a first of her parents’ patterns – she is not a morning person. She may roll over, but there’s more movement after lunch – and it’s most noticeable after dinner. Also, anytime I’ve had chocolate.
* it wasn’t until the twins were born that I really understood the title of Tertia’s blog