I’m not going to claim this makes sense. But I think that, while the overwhelming love for them is what makes losing A & C so painful, that same love also somehow helps heal my heart.
(I’m sure having Strawberry Baby grow inside me helps, too, but there is something uniquely related to my feelings for A & C here.)

If you need a reminder that sometimes, even after pain and failed cycles and losses, amazing things can happen, go over to Good Egg Hatched and Jessah. I saw those last week and found them so beautiful and inspiring, but after today I need them even more. Today, when a friend told me she’d just had a hysterectomy, because the fibroids her doctor had removed to help her get pregnant turned out to be malignant. Today, after I read Suzanne’s news.


9 thoughts on “love

  1. There is can be so much joy along side so much sadness in this community, it’s breathtaking. I’m so glad that you can use your love for A&C to help you heal. The heartbreak of losing them must be so great that it must be tempting to stay in that place of overwhelming grief. It’s impressive how you have been able to deal with your grief and still embrace Strawberry baby.

  2. It’s good to remember the positive news! I so often get caught up in the bad, the terrible, the depressing that I forget that good things do in fact happen to my friends. I’m so heart broken over Suzanne’s news! It feels like there’s always something, always someone to be sad for in this community. Thanks for reminding us of the good news too! Hope you and Strawberry baby are doing well!

  3. I’m constantly dumbstruck by how powerful love is. Love writ large, from your family to perfect strangers. Whenever I start feeling overwhelmed by sadness experienced by people in my life (self included) I try to stop, take a moment to send them love, then let it go.

  4. I’m honored that my story inspires in some way (and Jessah’s brings me happy tears)…love may not conquer all but it sure is a good start. Your ability to love in this way is going to make you one kick-ass mama to strawberry baby.

  5. I was listening to a song called “I want this more than life” by Whitley at the gym yesterday and the lyrics “to hold something real, will help my wounds heal” I cannot think of anything more healing. I ache for J and B every second, but I know the love I have for them and for their future siblings will hopefully also be the love that heals. ,3

  6. You’re going to be an amazing mama. I’m so happy you found some comfort in our story. It is so hard to celebrate when dear friend’s like Suzanne are struggling so much. But I do pray for all of us that sunshine is just around the bend….we just have to keep putting one foot in front of the other. Hugs!

  7. We all need those reminders sometimes that things will be okay. Sometimes sadness creeps up on us, for ourselves or others, but then we hear great news or something else inspiring and it reminds us that there really is good in this world too. Hope you are doing great!

  8. I think people run into trouble when their hearts close up and can’t love anymore. Despite your immense grief over losing your beautiful daughters, your heart has remained opened. Makes a lot of sense to me. You are a resilient, loving person.

    Thanks for posting about Suzanne and sending people over there. I am so very sad for her and I want everyone in the community to shower her with love. So thanks for inviting people to do that.

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