Thanks for all your good wishes! I really appreciate your support. I’m very hopeful, but simultaneously quite scared. Perhaps because I now have a better idea of what we could lose… and what we could gain.
A & C’s due date, February 25/26* will be during my 2ww. Somehow that seems fitting. It would have been a waiting period – theoretically at least, given that they were twins they’d have been early either way, but I never specifically calculated any other date. Now it will be a waiting period, filled with hopeful thoughts for a first step towards bringing home a sibling for them.
For Christmas, H gave me a ring in memory of A & C. We bought it in the same place where we had gotten my wedding jewelery**, and a part of the ring was called “starry sky”. Obviously it was perfect. When I got back here, a few people admired it, but then nobody commented on it for a while – until just before and just after the lining ultrasound. I like to think it was A & C telling us they’re ok with us moving forward.
* even with IVF we didn’t get an exact due date…
** that sounds so fancy and expensive, but in reality I think it was quite modest, or at least appropriately modest for a grad student wedding