- I’m trying to find a witty start for this post but can’t. My transfer, which I have largely neglected to talk about so far, should be in just over a week. Isn’t that amazing?!
- I have learned that the worst part about estrogen patches is tearing them off, and am not exactly looking forward to removing four of them on Wednesday, just to put four more on (also, I seem to be running out of space). But I am looking forward to hosting another of our precious embryos. Hopefully for the whole nine months this time.
- My big grant is almost submitted. Of course, once the stress over that stopped I began to actually think about the transfer and freak out a little…
- I imagine that, in some parallel universe, there’s a copy of me (or however you call the version of yourself in a parallel universe) that has babies at home or still in the belly, and fretting about how to get this grant done with the babies or the pregnancy exhaustion. And it makes me sad to think that, even after all we went through to get pregnant, I still didn’t quite appreciate what a miracle it is to actually bring home a baby, healthy and screaming and alive.
- After going through the new patient paperwork, my new acupuncturist said she was very sorry, and then asked a bit about my symptoms and what I was here for. She has a community practice together with some other practitioners, which among other things means that it’s much more affordable. She doesn’t talk much, just checks in with me when I get there to ask if anything has changed. She also mentioned that some people like to bring their own blankets or pillows. So I started taking this:
It’s the baby blanket I was knitting for A & C. Just one, you ask? I had bought the yarn on a trip to the east coast in this lovely store before we even started IVF. I never really expected twins, but due to the skein size would actually have had enough for two. I knit through stimulation, retrieval, transfer, the 2ww, and some more during pregnancy. But I hadn’t even finished this one when we lost them. And initially I thought it would be terribly hard to get back and finish it. But it was surprisingly easy, soothing even. It gave me hope that someday there would be a baby in our home to wrap in it.