kindness, and names

Thank you all so much for your words of sorrow and support. Each and every one of them made me cry, but not only from grief, also from gratitude for the support and love you’ve shown us, and the fact that so many people remember our tiny babies with us, and that you see how beautiful they were. I can’t even begin to explain how much this means to me.

We lit a candle for each of them yesterday, for Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance day. H had brought them back from grocery shopping with a friend who kindly offered to help us out (we don’t have a car), not knowing about the remembrance day but just thinking that it’d be nice to have candles for our girls.

I want to tell you about the names we gave them, but won’t actually spell them out because of Google. Hopefully the hints will be enough. We didn’t have names for them when they were born on Friday, but it’ll be easier to tell the birth story with them, especially because Twin A will be little C and Twin B will be called A…
They are named after star constellations. One of the names was already on our (long) list of candidates, and we wanted beautiful and special names for our beautiful and special babies. I’ve always loved it, but worried that it’d be challenging for, say, a toddler learning to say her name. The stars form the shape of a W, and it’s also the name of the turtle in a children’s book I love. When I mentioned it, H immediately remembered that on Tuesday, on what I thought might be the last night we had with our babies, I wanted to go outside to show them the stars. He went looking for another star constellation that would make a good girl’s name, and found A. A is right next to C (well, it looks like that from down here anyway) and contains a galaxy with the same name that apparently is a “twin sister” of the milky way. (We didn’t know about the twin sister bit until a few days later though.)
We go out every night and look up to them. And, believe it or not, we’ve seen shooting stars a few times.

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16 thoughts on “kindness, and names

  1. Two beautiful names for two beautiful babies. I’m sure your precious C and A are up there looking down at you from the stars. Hugs to you, mama.

  2. Those are beautiful names! And you’re the first person I’ve ever come across who knows that book but wasn’t introduced to it by me. I hope you continue to enjoy reading it in the future, thinking of your girls.

  3. I am honored to know the names of your two sweet girls – they are beautiful names for beautiful girls. And it is a beautiful way both to honor them and remember them. I’m not much for physical reminders on earth of people who have passed, but having such a wonderful reminder in the sky above, looking over you, is special. Many, many hugs.

  4. I love the idea of naming the babies after constellations. I think it’s so special! So neat that you can look up each night and remember them. You will always have that and I think that’s what makes it so special. No matter where you are in the world you can look up and remember them. Praying for you.

  5. What beautiful, perfect names for your two angel baby girls. I’ve been saying the names aloud, just to hear them said, just to speak their beautiful names and to honour their short, precious lives. They will not be forgotten, your girls.
    CC, I think of you everyday. I hope you are receiving support where you are (I’m so thankful to the friend with the car who thought of buying candles). Sending hugs.

  6. Oh honey. My heart is heavy reading your last three posts. I’m so sorry for your loss. You’re such a strong, positive person in spite of all you’ve endured. You’re my hero. Saying a special prayer for you, hubby and your beautiful starry angels.

  7. Thank you all! I’m glad you could decipher the names, and that you like them.
    Sara, I will definitely re-read them book – I actually need to get a copy first, I’m not sure where the one from my childhood went but I don’t have it here…
    Augusta, thanks for saying their names out loud! I cannot begin to describe how much this means to me.

  8. Those are both such beautiful names for your girls. I’m so sorry that all of this has happened. Reading about it just makes my heart break for you and H. I can’t imagine what you’re going through, and yet you’re so incredibly strong and resilient and eloquent. Sending you peaceful thoughts and wishing you comfort.

  9. Oh CC, I am so glad your girls are linked to those constellations. I will find them and send them my love. My daughter has a constellation name, too, and her constellation is near your sweet children.

  10. I’m visiting from Augusta’s blog and I am so sorry for your loss. Words fail. They are beautiful baby girls and I weep for you. Sending you and them love and light.

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