• I didn’t realize it until talking to my family about our plans for when the babies are here, but I’m in the first generation to not stay home until the kids are, like, in middle school (which is quite common where I’m from, in fact the entire tax system is built around a family of one parent earning significantly more than the other). I think they’re all horrified that I won’t/can’t stay home for more than a few months (am still in the process of trying to figure out the details). This probably warrants one or more dedicated posts, but honestly I find it hard enough to juggle the “how much time off can I afford” question after trying so hard to get pregnant that making me feel like a bad mother before the babies are even here doesn’t help.
  • I must officially look pregnant by now. Which is funny because I thought I wasn’t changing – although the main criterion, “my pants don’t fit”, probably isn’t that useful of an indicator any more. At the airport I was kindly asked to go through the business class check and the family security lane, but I though they were just being nice. But when one of the stewards asked when the baby is due, well, there was no mistaking it. He couldn’t believe that there are “two babies in this tiny belly” – it certainly doesn’t feel tiny, though it’s more “wide” than “protruding”, if that makes sense. I’m 17 weeks now, and read somewhere that the uterus size for twin pregnancies is as that of singleton pregnancies 6-8 weeks further along, which would be 23-25 weeks. Probably clearly pregnant-looking. Must upload new pictures soon.
  • As I said, I didn’t think I changed. Well, I gained 6 pounds in 2 weeks. Which certainly is fine for a twin pregnancy, and probably for anyone on a visit home with lots of good food ;) but still surprising given that I thought everything was the same.
  • I bought two tiny toys for the babies. I wasn’t exactly looking for something, but MIL dragged me into stores to “see what kind of things I liked” (which is a nice thought, though it’d be even nicer if she had also asked whether I was ready for this) and there were these tiny toys I really liked. After checking with H, who can be very picky with just about anything, I went back and bought them. I hesitated for a bit – what if, God forbid, something were to go wrong? But even then, these are our babies. The toys now sit on my nightstand (which really is a chair) and make me smile every time.
  • I need to pee all the time. Wasn’t that supposed to be a first- and third-trimester thing?
  • The “first” I’m still waiting for is movement, or maybe rather movement I can clearly recognize as such. I sometimes feel bubbling in unexpected places, but have no idea if this is a kick or just gas – and as just about anything is in unexpected places now, it’s hard to tell. Most of these bubbles are rather lateral though, while I thought I’d feel the babies more in the center… ?
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6 thoughts on “firsts

  1. Trying to find a balance between work and home is really tough, and even more so when there are societal/familial pressures one way or the other. I’ve had a LOT of people insinuate that I should stay home after #2 is born… ugh.

    Regarding movement – FWIW most of what I’m feeling now is off to one side (usually below and to the left of my belly button). I do have anterior placenta which I think sort of softens any movement in the center. Any idea where your placentas are?

    Looking forward to seeing another bump pic. :)

  2. Glad you had a nice visit home. It’s really quite fun when the world starts to notice what you have known (but dared not fully believe) for 13 weeks now. I found that it helped me realize that the pregnancy was real, once people started to comment and be excited for my future child to arrive.
    Yes! childcare and going back to work. Ugh! A difficult terrain to navigate for sure. I look forward to reading your upcoming posts on that.
    Movement is magical! I can hardly wait for you to experience that.

    1. Thanks for the encouragement! It is such an emotional topic, I’m a bit wary of approaching it.
      I agree that strangers noticing the bump make it more real, but I also get a weird “hey, how do you know about my secret?!” feeling… ;)

  3. BABY TOYS! I’m so glad you have something concrete (you know, outside your uterus) to admire. It’s an important step.

    As for the working part, well, I hope your family didn’t make you feel bad about your choices. My guess is that mothers who work, and mothers who stay home both get to feel crappy about their choices. YAY. But you know what’s right for your family, and that’s what matters most.

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