dreams and nightmares

My sweet husband had spent last week secretly researching pregnancy books and gave me one on Friday, after the first beta (!) — a bit (or, for some, much) early, but we did have a happy and relaxing weekend.

On Monday, when the nurse said words like “pregnant” and “due date”, it started to sink in that this may actually be real. For about 24h, I was on cloud 9, and willing to trust my body’s ability to do this, to carry a child (or two). But I hadn’t counted on my own potential to screw things up, apparently: I had been drinking green tea instead of my cafe con leche descafeinado — yeah, I know green tea contains some caffeine, but I figured that wasn’t too much. But on Tuesday I found out that it may reduce the body’s ability to absorb folic acid. Which is one of the few things actually established to matter for the baby’s development, especially in these early weeks. Cue freak-out. I tried to read up on research on this but couldn’t find solid evidence, though there were very few studies to begin with. Also, I’m guessing women in China or Japan, where green tea is a common drink, still have healthy babies. And hoping that my prenatal vitamins offset any reduced uptake I may still have had.

Is this the new normal? Second-guessing everything I used to think was ok, even healthy?

On the more positive side, today is our 4th wedding anniversary, and I’m 5w1d pregnant. Which seems mind-blowingly amazing.

Scan is on July 9th — I have a presentation on the 8th; it appears work is willing to keep me busy during these 2wws.

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6 thoughts on “dreams and nightmares

  1. This is definitely the most exciting yet terrifying phase of pregnancy! But honestly, do not worry about what you’re eating or drinking. The only amount of caffeine that’s been shown to have any effect on fetuses is 10 cups of coffee a day or more. THAT’S CRAY. So really don’t fret about green tea. I also eat sushi, cold cuts, soft cheeses and even have the occasional spritzer and it’s FINE! Plus folic acid has been incorporated into every single bread/starch product imaginable these days, so you are probably getting more than enough without the supplements — those are really just a back-up for people who eat like shit. :)

  2. *Pats you soothingly* I had any number of the same kind of freakouts. Isn’t it WONDERFUL TO BE SO TERRIFIED!?!?! Ahem. Perhaps not. I LOVE YOUR HUSBAND. I hope you had a fabulous anniversary. I conceived Bun Bun (via IUI, so it’s not GROSS!) on our fourth anniversary, so it’s a very lucky thing…

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