it’s official

Sometime around a year ago, on our honeymoon, I stopped taking my bcps which I’d been on since the endo surgery and treatment. Despite my history, I was kind of disappointed not to get pregnant in the first couple of months. Ordered Taking Charge of Your Fertility, started to chart, made an appointment with my doctor. Now, 12 months later, I still haven’t seen a BFP, but I hope very much that this has little predictive value for the future.

The conference was great, although they didn’t have hot milk for my understanding of “coffee”, and alcohol was spare. Oh well, scientifically and socially it was really nice. My husband participated in some special event, and a guy was asking him if his wife was the one that was expecting (there were several pregnant women around — I successfully avoided them). He answered that I’d like to be but unfortunately wasn’t, which I found sweet.

I try to be glad for the things that do work. There is sperm, even if not all of it is swimming properly. I do ovulate, even fairly regularly. The progesterone keeps my LPD under control. EWCM is there, lining is built up fine. But, with all that looking ok and 12+ cycles of trying, I’m getting a bit frustrated. What is wrong here? Do we just need more time? Less stress? (well possible given our work situations)

Or should we move on to more testing? I’ll be travelling a lot in August and have 3 deadlines for September. And we’ll probably move next year. International if not transatlantic. Not a great time to be pregnant or have a tiny baby. But, given our success rate from the previous year, I’m not planning to stop trying. However, we won’t start any big treatment plans either. If it happens naturally, great (and then we’ll sort out all the difficulties of moving, changing employer and insurance while pregnant somehow), if not, sigh.

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7 thoughts on “it’s official

  1. I think the most unfair part about this whole situation is when we have to choose between our lives and pregnancy. It’s impossible to plan with any certainty what situation we will be in the future. But on the other hand, would things really be that different if we could pop out babies like Pez dispensers? I think we all have our own set of circumstances that we have to navigate as best we can. Don’t lose hope!

  2. welcome back! you haven’t posted in a while so i was wondering what was up with you. hmmm, what i’ve learned from ttc so far – don’t put your life on hold. i vote for testing, so that at the very least, you can rule things out and know the complete picture of what you’re working with? i hate that we need to fit babymaking into our schedules, but since we don’t make babies from s*x alone, but need the continuous dr’s appts and all that, it’s our reality. someone needs to get the bfp train rolling please!!

  3. Glad you had a good time at the conference. It’s so frustrating and impossible to plan anything. I hope it does work “naturally” for you guys.

  4. I hope you get to see a BFP in the near future, it is just so frustrating trying for so long. As it has been twelve months I would probably go for further testing, and then you could make a decision about what to do. I personally believe firmly in not putting my life on hold. Yes, we might get pg in the middle of something busy or important, but I would rather deal with that than wait. But then, it’s been 4+ years over here :).

  5. Don’t stop trying. I think this is a smart decision. It’s too hard to try to time things…and anyway 12+ cycles kind of pokes all kinds of holes in that. I also think that none of the things you mention are insurmountable, and a lot is in perfect working order. And so your chances are good. It sucks to try so long, I know. But I am hoping that your BFP is just around the corner and all this frustration will soon be a thing of the past (and, anyway, babies LOVE transatlantic travel:)

  6. It’s nice to try to be thankful for the things that are in working order, but AAAAARG the frustration of all those months passing by! I’m always a fan of more information, so maybe more testing is a good idea? And I’m glad your conference went well, and that you avoided the pregnant bellies.

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